Archive for the ‘Sexual Fantasies’ category

Sharing Sexual Fantasies

It takes time but it helps to understand something of each other’s sexual fantasies, what gets them aroused and what they enjoy about sex. As with all human communication, it is worth starting off with a low ambition level before building up to major confidences. Some people are much more easily embarrassed than others by personal or erotic detail!

Once in a while, make some effort to spice up your sex life. If you are curious about sex toys, take a look at the websites: ‘Babeland’ for the US or ‘Simply Pleasure’ in the UK. Sex shops are no longer sleazy or embarrassing places. Go with your partner or a friend. The atmosphere is casual and relaxed and shop assistants are always happy to give help and advice. More women are shopping for toys and many shop assistants are female. The Sh! Store in London aims to be super-female friendly and asks men to go only with a woman friend.

Buy some sexy movies but bear in mind that women tend to need more story content than men. Consider how to combine sexual fantasy (hers as well as yours) into your sex play. Start sex sessions with a sexy book or a sex video. Make her arousal the focal point.

“But even when a man realizes that he should delay penetration, or that the woman may not want it at all, he sometimes makes straight for the erogenous zones or the clitoris, with a hand or mouth, ignoring every other part of the body…. Women need plenty of time in which to unwind and begin to feel desire and desirable.” (p138 Woman’s Experience of Sex 1983)

Rose, a woman in her late forties, recommended that men need to learn manual arousal techniques (to use on the woman) and also not to be intimidated by women using masturbation as part of the act of intercourse. Women need to learn to combine masturbation and intercourse and feel completely free to share their fantasies and use them during intercourse.

She giggled: “I wonder if the taboo about sex is not about sex as such but about the ‘naughty fantasies’ that make sex so good! I also found it difficult to share fantasies as I was unsure if speaking about them might somehow make them lose their power – like bursting a bubble – thankfully it hasn’t”.

Women’s sexual arousal and orgasm is not automatic and so women have to make a more conscious choice to become aroused. Men are easily stimulated by sexual thoughts. Women’s automatic trigger is

more easily subdued or ignored far less frequent needs other factors present to be switched on (i.e. they need to be content with other areas of their life).

 

Women usually need more artificial aids to trigger arousal. General touching and caressing (as opposed to specifically primary erogenous zone touching) are also important.

Jane Thomas: Author http://WaysWomenOrgasm.org and http://Nosper.com

aims to inform and reassure women of all ages: both the site content and pictures are completely clean. The discussion is based on honesty not sexual ego and covers: sex drive, the role of fantasy and why orgasm from masturbation may always be different to orgasm from penetration.

How to enjoy your sexual fantasies

Women use clitoral stimulation during female masturbation but that’s just dessert. Main course is scrummy sexual fantasies. Sadly, not every woman learns how to enjoy these delights.

When I first discovered masturbation, I did not have access to any erotic literature. Initially my sexual fantasies were home grown although sometimes based on stories I had already read.

‘The Story of O’ by Pauline Reage made a big impression on me. I liked the context of a large mansion or castle filled with men who use it as a country club but of course it was a brothel. I liked the idea of the men being rich (of course), masculine and self-assured (experienced).

So many of my early fantasies, which I still use, are based on the idea of a woman being a reluctant slave. Various attendants (usually also male) prepare the woman (me) for sex.

I like to fantasise about group episodes with many men who are either having sex with me or waiting their turn. One scenario is based on servicing men while they are dining around a long table. They penetrate my mouth, vagina or rectum; sometimes more than one man at a time. I don’t like competition and don’t find women’s bodies a turn-on so there are seldom women in my fantasies.

I use ideas such as creams to make my nipples more sensitive or a muscle relaxant that makes anal sex more comfortable for prolonged penile thrusting. Some ideas can be quite perverse and are not necessarily intended to be enjoyable in reality.

Apparently, some women are able to use their sexual fantasies during sex. Unfortunately, not all women are able to find the focus required to reach orgasm from fantasy when they are engaged on sexual activities with a partner.

One story I read tells of a woman who agrees to give herself over to an experienced man who wants to show her how enjoyable anal sex can be. He gives her a draught to drink that will clear out her bowels.

He offers her a coffee while they are waiting for the draught to take effect. After a spell on the loo, they shower together and he gives her an enema. By thoroughly cleaning out her rectum they can both be sure that the experience will be more comfortable.

With the lights low, he starts with her face down on the bed and uses a phallic vibrator to slowly ease into her anus and help her become relaxed. She lies there with her eyes closed thinking of other things and waiting for the experience to become more comfortable. Gradually she relaxes and starts to feel some sexual arousal.

He turns her over and starts with vaginal intercourse with a finger massaging her anus and penetrating her rectum to relax her muscles. He is eventually able to penetrate her anus with his penis and they have anal intercourse.

Over the course of the evening they have sex a number of times. Often the woman can hardly tell whether he’s in her vagina or her rectum. When he’s penetrating her vagina he uses a finger as a penis replacement in her anus.

I’m not going to tell you about my fantasies around gay men. I suspect this is just an odd perversion of my own. I will tell you about two books I enjoyed. ‘The King’s Men’ by Christian Fall tells the story of young Ned’s sexual adventures during the time of the English Civil War. ‘Hot Valley’ by James Lear is also an historical novel and follows the sexual exploits of Jack (who is a bit of a slut) in the New England of the 1860′s. Well, I like history…

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Sexual Fantasies: How to Live Them Out

Many romantic couples believe that living out their sexual fantasies can actually bring them closer to one another and provide fond memories. Few couples though tend to differ from this. There are situations where realized fantasies can force lovers to go their separate ways. I advice that while some sexual fantasies should be realized, others should be left to live only in our minds. Such fantasies like threesome, orgies and swapping partners should never be realized since they are risky. It becomes dangerous when the fantasy involves a third party. There are open-minded and understanding couples who can deal with it without any hitch. Some sexual fantasies can spice up your sex life to unimaginable levels such as the ones written about here below.

One of the sexual fantasies that can be safely lived out is making your own movie at home. You and your partner will feel like real porn stars whenever you watch the movie. Do not show any facial job or anal action since this is a private action for two people. You are the director, producer and the star so you need to be really smart while at it. Set up the camera in such an angle that it captures your antics. Control the everything to ensure that the moans and groans are well recorded. The movie helps you to communicate with your partner and get in to the mood whenever you watch it.

Some beneficial sexual fantasies involve either dominating or submitting to your partner. Let her strip in front of you. You might choose to be controlled or to control your partner. This can turn a dull experience into something out of this world. If one partner leads and only gives orders as the other one follows and obeys her/his “master”, the scenario can simply ignite sparks of passion that no one knew existed. In this sexual mode you can easily reveal your fetishes which should be within reason and also give in to your secret sexual desires. Hand your woman the whip and watch her unleash her fantasies. While dressed in an easy-access wear head out to a nice night club most preferably an exclusive place for horny couples and single people. What you are up to is to realize a fantasy in which you are able to make love as you watch others while they watch you too. You have to be keen not to cross with the club management since some clubs do not allow people to get nasty while others do not mind.

Give aforementioned sexual fantasies a shot. Take your girl out to a strip joint. It might turn out to be one of your fondest memories. At first the woman might appear hesitant but let her understand that you do not want to stare at other women. All you want is to watch her reaction as the event unfolds. This might change her point of view and soon she will get used to the atmosphere. If you notice her getting excited, order for a lap dance and watch her as she watches these women. If she likes the fun, she will opt to order for a dance for you. If she has ever fantasized about stripping in front of people, let her do it and she will love you for that.