Sexuality

Sexual Fantasies: How to Live Them Out

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Many romantic couples believe that living out their sexual fantasies can actually bring them closer to one another and provide fond memories. Few couples though tend to differ from this. There are situations where realized fantasies can force lovers to go their separate ways. I advice that while some sexual fantasies should be realized, others should be left to live only in our minds. Such fantasies like threesome, orgies and swapping partners should never be realized since they are risky. It becomes dangerous when the fantasy involves a third party. There are open-minded and understanding couples who can deal with it without any hitch. Some sexual fantasies can spice up your sex life to unimaginable levels such as the ones written about here below.

One of the sexual fantasies that can be safely lived out is making your own movie at home. You and your partner will feel like real porn stars whenever you watch the movie. Do not show any facial job or anal action since this is a private action for two people. You are the director, producer and the star so you need to be really smart while at it. Set up the camera in such an angle that it captures your antics. Control the everything to ensure that the moans and groans are well recorded. The movie helps you to communicate with your partner and get in to the mood whenever you watch it.

Some beneficial sexual fantasies involve either dominating or submitting to your partner. Let her strip in front of you. You might choose to be controlled or to control your partner. This can turn a dull experience into something out of this world. If one partner leads and only gives orders as the other one follows and obeys her/his “master”, the scenario can simply ignite sparks of passion that no one knew existed. In this sexual mode you can easily reveal your fetishes which should be within reason and also give in to your secret sexual desires. Hand your woman the whip and watch her unleash her fantasies. While dressed in an easy-access wear head out to a nice night club most preferably an exclusive place for horny couples and single people. What you are up to is to realize a fantasy in which you are able to make love as you watch others while they watch you too. You have to be keen not to cross with the club management since some clubs do not allow people to get nasty while others do not mind.

Give aforementioned sexual fantasies a shot. Take your girl out to a strip joint. It might turn out to be one of your fondest memories. At first the woman might appear hesitant but let her understand that you do not want to stare at other women. All you want is to watch her reaction as the event unfolds. This might change her point of view and soon she will get used to the atmosphere. If you notice her getting excited, order for a lap dance and watch her as she watches these women. If she likes the fun, she will opt to order for a dance for you. If she has ever fantasized about stripping in front of people, let her do it and she will love you for that.

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Sexual Fantasies: Who Doesn?T Have Them?

by admin

How many people can be honest and open about sexual fantasies? Well that’s a different matter. And what difference will it make if we are open or secret about them? These are all more important questions than you might think.

Fantasies can greatly enhance our sexuality or they can shut it down. It all depends on what our beliefs are about fantasy and how we handle them. Certainly having them can be a great turn on. But feeling like we have to keep them secret from our sexual partner can reduce our sexual functioning over time. That’s because withholding of important thoughts and feelings in general can create distance in our intimate relationships. And this can be true of sexual fantasy as well.

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But the sharing of fantasies can also greatly enhance our sexual relationships if we have the courage to expose ourselves. When we remember that intimacy is enhanced by our sharing feelings in general, it naturally follows that we reduce our chances for intimacy when we withhold our thoughts and feelings about our innermost sexual fantasies.

Unfortunately, the concept of fantasy is greatly misunderstood and consequently our sexual fantasy lives can often become shrouded in secrecy. The culture in which we live has a huge bearing on our beliefs about what is appropriate to think about and what is not. This is unfortunate because my experience has shown me that there is a big price paid for sexual secretsBut we usually don’t recognize this important connection. I’ll attempt to make the association between sexual secrets and sexual energy more clear in the following few pages.

As with most other aspects of sexuality, fantasy also comes with its share of myths. Here are a few to think about.

Sexual Fantasies

by admin

Anyone who is familiar with orgasm will know that, despite all the fuss made about physical stimulation, this aspect of sex can be a complete red herring.

Clitoral stimulation is not everything. In other words, knowing which body part to stimulate is useful but not the whole story. After all, our enjoyment of sex ultimately depends on what happens in the brain.

“However we feel about fantasies, it is clear that sex is not, for most of us, just a rubbing together of bodies, but involves our minds … We take our minds with us into each sexual encounter.” (p81 Woman’s Experience of Sex 1983)

Women’s sexual arousal and orgasm is not automatic so when I approach masturbation, my first task is to come up with a fantasy scenario that is likely to arouse me enough to reach orgasm. If I cannot achieve the necessary sexual arousal from fantasy then it makes not a jot of difference how vigorously or for how long I stimulate my clitoris. I just give up on the whole thing as a bad job.

I already knew that women’s sexual arousal relies on sexual fantasies during masturbation. Yet when I approached sex with a partner, I never considered using erotic stories or sexual fantasies in order to generate sexual arousal.

Shere Hite compared women’s experience of masturbation with intercourse to explain why the lack of physical simulation orgasm during intercourse might cause orgasm to take longer or fail to occur. The other characteristic of masturbation that is missing when a woman has sex with a partner is fantasy; that is unless she finds a way to incorporate sexual fantasies into her sex life. Surveys indicate that many women do use fantasy to reach orgasm during sex with a partner.

Sexual arousal and orgasm result from psychological stimulation of the brain through our senses (sight, smell and touch) as well as our imagination (fantasy). It makes sense that if, say sight, is less effective in arousing women that they might make use of other means, say imagination, to substitute.

“Women fantasize more than men, and their fantasies are extremely explicit” (p177 Satisfaction Guaranteed 1996)

Equally men’s bodies (particularly in their younger years) are filled with testosterone, the hormone that boosts sex drive. It makes sense that women will need to use fantasy more than men because they are not as easily aroused by more ‘natural’ means. Even once they have discovered how to achieve it, women have to work much harder at generating sexual arousal.